Sunday, May 4, 2008


MONTREAL - After a spectacular season of near-constant highs, the Montreal Canadiens' season came to an end last night in the most anti-climactic of ways. A fourth consecutive loss to the mediocre Philadelphia Flyers eliminated the Canadiens from compitition for the ultimate prize, the Stanley Cup.

Was it Karma? Was it destiny? Was it bad joo-joo? Did the Canadiens, a team that no one picked to even make the playoffs, offend the Gods in doing so? Was it Carbonneau's heritical tie?

Whatever it was, it just wasn't meant to be.

I, like most Habs fans, enjoyed the ride knowing full well that there was little to no chance of winning the Cup. Indeed, if the Canadiens had made the Conference Final, it is doubtful that even the Faithful would pick them to beat Pittsburgh. So we always knew we were going to be eliminated.

But really, the Flyers? C'mon!

Shades of the Carolina Hurricanes; down and out until the removal of Our Captain's eye. Shades of the Tampa Bay Lightning; thoroughly dominated, yet winning despite (although at least they had some talented players).

What do those teams have in common? Yeah, they won the Cup.

Are the Flyers a team of destiny? Did Briere know something we didn't? Did Biron? Is Hatcher really the difference maker Bobby Clarke always thought he was? Is Umberger the real deal? It is the fact that this paragraph can barely be taken seriously that makes me realize just how horrible it was for Us to lose to these clowns.

Oh well. There's always next year right? Centennial Cup?

Now let the offseason fun begin. Let us dump Ryder to Edmonton, pick up a signifant UFA (Hossa? Jagr?) and gear up for next year's awesome ride!

Thursday, May 1, 2008


We are but normal folk, humbled and humiliated. And far be it from us to stifle Your creativity or Your judgement. Yet here we are. On the brink.
We know that You have a Grand Plan, and that Bob Gainey, the Montreal Canadiens and the Priceberg are somehow involved and we truly appreciate that because it fills us with Hope and has renewed our Partisanship to a frenzy this City has never witnessed, even in our times of Glory. We also understand that to Win, our children must learn the agony of defeat as, indeed, the Penguins learned last year. But, dear Jebus, that was the Senators! The good Senators!
These are the Flyers!
What are we learning now? That You have a sense of humor? Ok, ha-ha. Very funny. You got us; that was a good one, ok? Losing to the Penguins, ok, that's fine, we accepted that; it would have been honorable and a fitting end to a Spectacularly season.
But the Flyers represent everything You despise, Jebus. What the hell are you doing? We are confused, stunned and dismayed at Your proceedings and we're all wondering what to do to get You back on our side. Different way to work, longer shower, avoiding cracks in the sidewalk, squishing raspberries, howling to the moon, sacrificing white roosters, converting to scientology, what?! What do we have to do, please tell us? Because this isn't right. You know this isn't right.
Are You even there? ........screw it.
Maurice? Tell'em!
"Nos bras meurtris vous tendent le flambeau."
That means you, Kovy.
Now let's do this thing but this time,
Let's do it right.