DEAR JEBUS

We are but normal folk, humbled and humiliated. And far be it from us to stifle Your creativity or Your judgement. Yet here we are. On the brink.
We know that You have a Grand Plan, and that Bob Gainey, the Montreal Canadiens and the Priceberg are somehow involved and we truly appreciate that because it fills us with Hope and has renewed our Partisanship to a frenzy this City has never witnessed, even in our times of Glory. We also understand that to Win, our children must learn the agony of defeat as, indeed, the Penguins learned last year. But, dear Jebus, that was the Senators! The good Senators!
These are the Flyers!
What are we learning now? That You have a sense of humor? Ok, ha-ha. Very funny. You got us; that was a good one, ok? Losing to the Penguins, ok, that's fine, we accepted that; it would have been honorable and a fitting end to a Spectacularly season.
But the Flyers represent everything You despise, Jebus. What the hell are you doing? We are confused, stunned and dismayed at Your proceedings and we're all wondering what to do to get You back on our side. Different way to work, longer shower, avoiding cracks in the sidewalk, squishing raspberries, howling to the moon, sacrificing white roosters, converting to scientology, what?! What do we have to do, please tell us? Because this isn't right. You know this isn't right.
Jebus?
Are You even there? ........screw it.
Maurice? Tell'em!
"Nos bras meurtris vous tendent le flambeau."
That means you, Kovy.
Now let's do this thing but this time,
Let's do it right.