INJURIES MOUNT FOR HABS

BOSTON - Here at HabsBros we get the stories that others can't (or possibly just don't bother with). But that's what makes us special. Take for example all the injuries the Canadiens' players have had this year. Other news outlets have all reported the same thing; upper-body, lower-body, out-of-body, etc. But we give you more.

Sure we know the player is injured. Sure we know how long the player is going to be out. But do we really know the whole story?

You may have noticed that Jaroslav Halak was reported as not being 100% before last night's game in Boston. Wow... How vague is that? Well, here's the real scoop my friends:

After a a bit of a crazy night, Halak was checked out by the team doctors (or possibly a drunk hobo, it's hard to tell) after Halak reported a slight tummy-ache. Well, Dr. Hobo checked out Halak's boo-boo and yours truly was able to see the the chart. Here's the disturbing results:

According to Dr. Hobo's assessment, Halak has pacreatitis, hepatitis, bone disease, intestinal parasites, skin cancer, lung cancer, hair cancer, ingrown rib, elbow cancer, herpes, dysentery, broken pelvis, internal bleeding, external bleeding, blood clots, swine flu, spanish flu, kung flu, trench foot, athlete's foot, archer's elbow, cholera, four brain tumors, seven kidney stones, sleep apnea, and heart disease.

Halak was given a couple of Aspirin and is expected to be better by the weekend.

More updates as events warrant.