Wednesday, December 10, 2008


It was a calamitous affair that drew your faithful reporter to the Halls of Bell this morning. Bob Gainey, the general manager of the Royal Montreal Canadiens, just came in from Italy, where, we were told, he had lunch with an old friend and confidante. Asked if this "friend" was none other than the Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Bob demured.
"It was an engagement that had been tabled for quite some time."
- With your friend "Benny", Bob? That’s what it says on the Agenda.
"That’s right. Benny. Old friend of mine."
- Did you talk hockey?
"I talk hockey all the time; it may have come up."
- What does the Vicar of Christ know about hockey?
"It wasn’t the Holy Father, just a friend who can help with some power-play ideas. Next question."
- Will you be inviting the Successor of the Chief of the Apostles to your loge anytime soon?
"What does that have to do with anything?"
- Well, Bob, many say that Montreal’s power-play could use some divine intervention, and as the Patriarch of the West, your friend "Benny" might be just the ticket.
"Okay, listen: It wasn’t the Pope. I can’t be more clear. Just a normal general manager’s meeting. I just had lunch with my friend Benny. Yes, he lives in the Vatican, but..."
- The Sovereign of the Vatican State, no less. Is that correct?
"No, that is incorrect. Furthermore, don’t be reading anything into our team’s offensive explosion on the power-play coming up shortly."
- Why would you say such a thing, Bob?
"Call it an epiphany. Last question."
- Who kissed who’s ring?
"This press conference is over."
And there you have it, Rosary-holding, bead-rolling, knee-bowing Partisans. Bob Gainey did NOT visit anyone holier than...thou, in Italy. Just a friendly lunch with his friend Benny. The fact that good’ole Benedictine XVI happened to be photographed in his Habs regalia on the same day with the Key to the City of Montreal about his neck had nothing to do with anything.
Yea, the Power-Play cometh and that right righteously.
More hymning as events warrant.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Absolutely fantastic!