Thursday, February 12, 2009

9 OUT OF 10 DENTISTS AGREE: HABS SUCK

EDMONTON - A recent medical study performed by the American Dental Association revealed that nine out of ten dentists believe that the leading cause of sucking is being a Montreal Canadien.

I, for one, find it difficult to argue with such flawless logic as this.

As a die-hard fan of Les Boys, I was shocked to hear that my heros were actually causing tooth decay and gingivitis. Apparently flossing does nothing when you're constantly chewing on a steamy pile of sh*t. Who knew?

As it happens, your intrepid reporter so happened to be in Edmonton and so happened to get his hands on some tickets to go and see the Lord's Team. The tickets were free, but I still feel like I'm owed something for having had to endure such a debacle.

Many of the fans left early, but I stuck around. As a true fan, you have to take it when your team is bad. And I took it. Oh, I took ALL of it... And let me tell you, I'll never walk the same again.

Does anyone remember Ottawa last season? Remember even further back with guys like Yashin and Mogilny and what they brought to their teams come pressure time? Remember Mr. October, Brian Savage? Don't all those things strike a resounding resemblance to something we're witnessing today?

Well, at least we got us a Honda... I mean, that's a whole CAR! Who the hell needs a stinking CUP after that?!?

More griping as events dictate.

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