Sunday, March 1, 2009


Your Montreal Canadiens have resurged from the bottomless pit, clambered over its rim of adversity, and are now proceeding to lay the League of Extraordinary Hockey Players to waste with such furious ire and dogged determination that City officials have had no choice but to hire world-wide, highly-reknowned urban specialists to start the planification of the Holy Cup Parade in downtown Montreal. This outsourcing will cost the City 8 million dollars, a cost Mayor Tremblay casually accepts. "Hey, gotta do what you gotta do. You’d do the same if you could do what I can do."
The Beautiful Team is on a roll. The four-game winning streak they are riding is testament to the genius of Mr.Bob Gainey, general manager of the club.
Mired in inefficiency, the power-play exploded with the arrival of Granpa Schneider.
Branded as a wimp, Big George so hammered Shelley into the ice that the Vancouver Olympic Committee is seriously considering the option of incrusting Shelley in their own centre-ice logo. Said a spokesman "Worked for those Canadiens, don’t see why it couldn’t work for us."
Accused of not going to the net, every goal scored since has gone through tooth and groin.
Ridiculed for not having an experienced goaltender, the young Jaroslav began filing his teeth, so eager was he to swallow the bit he was chomping on.
But stygmatized by not winning? Alex "The Glorious Artiste" Kovalev took over the reins and showed how one drives a bloody hansom. All the man needed was a little nap. Little tired, that’s all. Mr.Bob Gainey, in all his genius, recognized this and ordered the man to take a nap. Just a little tired, take a nap and come back refreshed. Four-game winning streak.
If there is doubt, there is no doubt. Look to the Artiste.
Cheers from the objective press-box.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...