Monday, March 9, 2009


The boom you just heard was that of the one being laid to Guy Carbonneau, ex-coach of the Montreal Canadiens, the greatest team in the world, and the one whose management provides the freshest pastries at press-conferences.
While delecting himself of a lemon chiffon danish sprinkled with sugared nutmeg, your faithful reporter was on hand to record General Manager-and now coach-Bob Gainey's address, that which basically stated that there were to be modifications made to the Montreal Canadiens, the greatest team in the world, and a stoic symbol of stability everywhere.
The changes were to be drastic.
- Why did you fire Guy, Bob?
"I didn't feel like the team was responding on an emotional level that I would deem appropriate in the process of capturing what our mandate specifically entitles us to strive for in that capacity."
- Umm...What was it specifically that you felt Guy was not doing?
"Of course, everybody, myself, Guy, everybody is well aware that in this business, that this is a team, there always comes a time when changes have to be made within that team. I'm sure that sometimes, if Guy was in my position, I would do things that he would not agree with, the same way that sometimes, I don't agree with what he would do in my position, for example, but doing what's best for the team is always something we agreed on."
- And what about what you mentioned earlier about Guy having been your best move as GM?
"Well, we have to remember that there's not just Montreal in the NHL. Other teams have problems much worse than ours but since Montreal is the veritable epicentre of Hockey Planet and its fans demand so much of our club, it's essential that we seize the opportunity to work so that we can get to the playoffs and have an impact in the series."
- Is it the players who wanted the coach out, Bob?
"Even the teams that have success have asked to play together and to do that, they have to work together. The different philosophies on the team is something that needs to be used positively, and not as a source for distractions that affect the overall stability of the club. It's not acceptable to me that other teams have double the chances to win and because of that and we needed to discuss the possibilities of change after the Atlanta game."
- You touch upon the questions, Bob, but ... What about Atlanta? What can you tell us about that?
"Again, it was a tough decision to make but I found myself in a position that required my intervention and we did that in a manner that was very difficult for both Guy and myself but what would be best overall for the club. What you have to remember is that there's almost 60 years of NHL experience between Guy and myself. It's never an easy decision to change that."
- What are your plans in regards to the next coach of the club?
"My plan at this juncture is to protect our young goalies and to work defensively so that our best players are put in a better position to contribute to the success of the club that will get this team to the playoffs and work in such a fashion that the success of the team will benefit most from that and then, we can think about taking the next step into a deeper playoff run and ideally, the Stanley Cup."
- En français maintenant, s'il-vous-plaît, Bob?
Ooh jeez... In conclusion,
Ex-coach Guy Carbonneau leaves a record of 127-86-20 (or something close) in his tenure at Bell Centre Hall. Hail the Victorious Dead. Goo'night, Guy. Godspeed. God bless.
More updates as danishes warrant.

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