CHILDREN CAN'T BRING THEMSELVES TO LOOK AT HABS ANYMORE

MONTREAL, PQ - Local seven-year-old Montreal Canadiens fan, Patricia Bucier revealed today that, try though she might, she simply can't bring herself to idolize the Habs anymore... "I mean, they're great and everything... Well, not anymore, but I guess they're okay now," said the life-long fan of Les Glorieux and The Wiggles.

It looks as though Bucier is not alone in her opinion.

Eight-year-old Robert "Billy" Pierce, sporting his favorite Kovalev jersey for the interview said, "Did anyone else notice [Hal] Gill? I mean, he's big, but he kinda reminds me of that slow kid in our class [artist's rendering on right], you know?" Then he banged his fist on the table (knocking over his Clifford lunchbox) and exclaimed, "For God's sake, I'm f*cking EIGHT and I'M the one noticing this?!?"

Pierre Dubois, nervously twirling his Thomas The Train Engine toy in his hands, admitted that watching his team on TV made his daddy drink and get angry. "But," he said, "Mommy gets me these cool toys after."

Your humble reporter was denied the ability to press for more information when he was escorted from the Carlyle Elementary School building by security.