Monday, March 1, 2010


Now that all this Olympic hoopla is over and done with, we can get back to the business of talking about the hockey that really matters: Montreal Canadien hockey. One may travel the world and never find a notion as beautiful as the Beautiful Team’s notion, that of stylish elegance delivered as bone-crushing NHL hockey superiority, so, it was only in the spirit of utter patronization that your cagey reporter brought up the subject of its Olympic farce of a counterpart to our returning Gamers.
- How’d it go, Tommy?
“Well, I think I got screwed. Nobody told me we would be speaking in Czech. I might’ve been born there, but I’ve been working my way to the NHL since I was six and I haven’t had time to keep up with the language as much as I should have. I couldn’t understand what the hell was going on or what I was expected to do. Coach didn’t seem too happy but all I could do was shrug my shoulders at him, you know?”
- Marky, what happened?
“We not play with passion. We not play desperate. You see what happened. We get slapped around like clown at slap party. You see who I play with? I want to pass the puck to team-mate and I look and I say ‘Who are you?’ and he says ‘I am Korneyev; I play with CKSA.’ and I say ‘Who?’ And it all goes downhill from there.”
-Jaro, not bad. Not bad at all. Whaddaya say?
“We are satisfied in the way we played. It would have been nice to bring back a medal. The team was working really hard and got a 3-1 lead and…I started thinking of the controversy that was waiting for me back in Montreal and I kind of lost my concentration in the end.”
So there you have it, Hab-following, Flannel-loving, genuflecting Partisans, straight from the horses mouths, your Olympic recap. Now, we move on to Tuesday night’s tilt versus our infamous rivals, the Bos…
“Hey! What about me?”
-Sergei. Little buddy; how you doin?
“You not talk to me of Olympic experience.”
-You went to the Olympics? Snowboard freestyle? We know you like the pipe. Heh, little joke there, Sergei. But seriously, skelton?
-No, hockey. I finish with most points on my team. I am one of overall leaders in all of tournament!”
-Get outta here! Which nation?”
-…oh. Well, I mean,.. Sergei, c’mon. Don’t waste my time here; I’m doing this report, ok?
“Pah! Drobonovskyet!”
With your sensitive reporter understanding that last comment as a plea to pursue his preview, he did so directly: The Boston Bruins await the greatest team in the history of the world at TD Garden tomorrow night and since their national pride has just been crushed to smithereens, they seem ripe for the picking. Not that they ever needed a reason to wilt; they’ve been doing it for nigh on 80 years without fail but it’s good to find different reasons why the Habs must shove the Beaners noses in it every time regardless. Shove it good. Faster, higher, stronger; shove it good.
More updates as events warrant.


Anonymous said...

what a piece of shit blog this is,the tri-colored lipgloss,shows his true stupidity,You stealing your moms lipstick or your boyfriends?

Ericson esq. Reporting said...

Tricolor shows stupidity? I didn't know that.
What does anonymous potty-mouthing show? Brilliance?
Man, I'm ALL confused.