Tuesday, November 25, 2008


MONTREAL - After losing yet another game on Monday night against the New York Islanders, the Montreal Canadiens are looking for something, anything, to help boost their fragile confidence. The answer comes after many fans have sent in angry emails and phone calls demanding the Habs do something to right the sinking ship.

The answer is an exhibition game against their fans.

During the Christmas break, the "Canadiens vs. Fans" game will take place. The game, which is being promoted by Don King, is sure to draw massive media attention as well as ire, since the "Canadiens vs. Media" game is scheduled for next preseason.

"No doubt about it, the Montreal fans will be tough," Habs center (and eternal optimist) Saku Koivu said. "That guy from the corner Deli? Well, he's got a nasty shot that usually hits guys in the throat. And that guy who pushes the shopping cart around St. Catherine's? Man, he can wreak havoc in the neutral zone. (Also, you don't want him bleeding on you.) Oh! And that dude from maintenance? Well, he's just a gigantic jerk. But we've got a good team, too."

The Canadiens have of course confirmed that all of their regulars will be in the lineup, with the exception of Maxime Lapierre, whose animal-like tendencies are feared to result in his mounting one of the fans in a move of dominance followed inevitably by biting off an ear.

The Habs coaching staff, meanwhile, are of course looking at this game as an opportunity to (a) avenge certain statements the fans have made against them, and (b) get back into the win column.

Neither is expected to occur.

More comments as events warrant.

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