Saturday, January 9, 2010


MONTREAL - Despite their considerably different upbringings, their lack of mutual interests, and the fact that they don't even speak the same language, current Miss Chile Marie Sanchez, 21, and multi-millionaire NHL all-star Andrei Markov, told your humble reporter that they somehow continue to make their relationship work and could I please get out of their house.

"The moment I saw her, I knew I wanted to be with her," said Markov as he physically persuaded me out the door. He added that the couple's relationship seems to have oddly persevered despite the fact that he is so often on the road. "Marie told me that she's always been waiting for somebody like me to come along and sweep her off her feet."

"Jess," she said as she followed behind us, "I love..."

"Andrei," I offered.

"Jess," she continued, "I love... Ahn-day... He is rich man. Uh, gud man."

And dear readers, when I saw Markov's smile as he slammed the door in my face, I knew that she was exactly what he was looking for too.

More updates as love blossoms.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very Onion, very good.

-Homme de Sept-Iles