Sunday, January 10, 2010


Now that the Montreal goalie controversy has finally broken out from its political enclosure and begun tearing about the League of Extraordinary Hockey Players with no regard for strife or whim, many now postulate on which organization would assure the Beautiful Team of the best return on a possible trade involving Jaroslav Halak, also know as the Bratislava Bratwurst, the Comanche from Kocice, the Presov Presser, and the Montreal Stopper-of-pucks.
What many don’t postulate on is what price such a deal could carry, mainly, that if you remove the Stopper-of-pucks, then pucks won’t be stopped anymore, leading to some inevitable complications down the line. That the pucks could be stopped despite the Stopper-of-pucks’ absence is, unfortunately, not the subject of this article.
Your open-ended reporter set upon Coach Jack Marty after Saturday night’s game. He looked happy. So he was asked directly:
-You happy, coach?
“Definitely. Especially with Halak’s performance tonight. He kept us in the game against the best team in the East and definitely made some sensational saves that gave confidence to our forwards to attack a bit more and that's why we finished the game leading in shots.”
"Well, I don't know if I could definitely say I was satisfied because we ultimately lost but I'm happy at what I saw. So: happy but unsatisfied."
Right. Then it was all business:
-Is Halak a number one goaltender, coach?
“He’s definitely making a case.”
-Is it good for a team to have a number one goaltender?
“It definitely helps.”
-Wouldn’t trading away a number one goaltender carry a price?
“Definitely something that’s being considered.”
-Who starts in net next game, coach?
“Well, that’s, uhh, I def…uh…”
-Ah, see? You can’t say “definitely” all the time, can you?
“This interview is over.”
-Aw, coach, c’mon.
“No! Goodbye.”
And off he stomped. Big baby, he always does that.
But what he doesn't realize is that a conspiracy isn't a conspiracy until it's uncovered. This is not over. These two (see right) want some answers and we at Habsbros intend to get them.
More updates definitely warranted.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i dont know how you get these pictures, they always crack me up!