Tuesday, May 25, 2010


MONTREAL - As The Glorious Team arrived back in Montreal, they walked in with their heads held high. And rightfully so. The Canadiens achieved everything they wanted to achieve.

  • Be better than the Leafs? Check
  • Make the playoffs? Check.
  • Beat down Ovechkin? Check.
  • Smother Crosby with "love"? Check.
  • Have the leading goal scorer in the playoffs? Check.
  • Get shutout three times in the Conference Finals so as to boost the confidence of the Philadelphia Flyers and then sit back and laugh while they come crumbling back down to Earth against the vastly superior Chicago Blackhawks? Check.
  • Devalue Carey Price so as to make him cheaper to re-sign? Check.
  • Appear on "Cabbie on the Street"? Check.

    So really, why bother winning the Cup? They have achieved all that they wanted to achieve. It was sheer will and determination that made that happen. And it was not without resistance that these goals were met.

    Take for example, The Man.

    While your humble reporter does not typically subscribe to conspiracies against a team for which there is some clear personal bias, there were cases this post-season that really questioned that standpoint. In other words, the NHL really did not want the Habs beating either of their golden boys (Ovechkin or Crosby).

    Like David v. Goliath, Steve Austin v. Vince McMahon, or the precedent setting, hippies v. government, your Montreal Canadiens waged war against the odds and against the powers that be. They would have fought God Himself if he hadn't thought twice and decided, "whoa, fuck this shit."

    But in the end, after meeting their goal, the Habs simply decided that this was enough. It wasn't that they were tired. It wasn't that they lost that loving feeling. In the end... It was Sergei Kostitsyn.

    Yes, after defeating the glamorous Capitals, and the mighty Penguins, the Canadiens had an internal meeting wherein they concluded that winning the Cup would mean having to engrave Sergei's name upon the same surface that holds glorious names such as Richard, Beliveau, and Richard. That, dear readers, simply will not do.

    So in being eliminated from the playoffs, your Habs paid the ultimate sacrifice, and proved themselves heros once more.

    We at Habsbros salute you!

    More updates as events warrant.

    punkster said...

    I knew it...knew it all along!
    (Great story boys).

    The Habs-Man said...

    That's us. We deal out the straight dope.

    Harditya_CareyPrice said...

    Fantastic! You peeps make too much sense..