Monday, May 3, 2010


The sceptics have been confounded. The doubters have been silenced. The unbelievers have been shot. And all that remains is the glory of your Astonishing Montreal Canadiens. Their continuing mission, to explore new ways to bewilder opponents, to seek out new defensive methods aimed at thwarting high-powered offence and new creative ways to score at precisley the right moment to drive the stake of despait into their adversaries' hearts, to boldly go where they have already gone 24 times before!
LA-LAAAAA, LA-LA-LA-LA-LAA… When something is this amazing, it certainly deserves it's proper theme music.
But getting back to reality, it’s occurred to us at Habsbros that while everyone is so busy being baffled by HOW the Montreal Canadiens are accomplishing what they’re accomplishing, we haven’t got around to asking ourselves WHY they’re accomplishing what they’re accomplishing. What’s the motivation?
The motivation is spite, of course.
Turns out your Cunning Montreal Canadiens didn’t take too kindly to being referred to as smurfs all year long. Which is kind of unfortunate, because we at Habsbros have been sending them all our communiqués on blue paper with a big Papa Smurf in the heading and it would’ve been nice to get a little heads up about that so that we don’t look like a bunch of inconsiderate morons now. But that’s neither in the here and now and we won’t make a big deal out of it because the team is winning.
Point is, smurfs are kicking ass. They have the initial mental advantage of always being able to say “We’re the underdogs; they’re the favourites. We want to win but they HAVE to win.” And verily, with a 19th place overall team making it into the top 16, who can argue with them?
Then comes the game-plan, which consists in frustrating their opposition to the point of petulance. Effectively getting on their nerves with malice aforethought. Ankle-slashing, elbow-raising, rib-spearing, the works. No room to skate, no shots to fire, no goals to score, no momentum to gather and no fun for anybody except Habs fans. Alexander Ovechkin testified when your well-connected reporter caught up to him.
-Can’t beat smurfs, Ovi?
“I think in the regular season and in the playoffs, it was two different teams. One was nice and these guys were mean. I mean, they were just mean. Very bad. Not nice to me at all.”
-You shoulda scored on’em more then.
“But when you don't score, it goes through your mind, 'Why can't I score right now?' Next time you have a chance and you see five snarling smurfs coming your way, you feel like, 'Jesus what happened to these guys?' Then, you start concentrating on Halak too and forget different things. Like how to win.”
And that was the end of the Yankee Doodle Pee-wee Junior B, 4th division hockey club, the Capitals, who were forced to saddle their sheep-ponies back up and ride on home to momma.
Sid the Kid Crosby is now giving us a sneak-preview of deja-vus to come after your Monstrous Montreal Canadiens’ victory in Game 2 of the 2nd round in these 2010 NHL Playoffs .
“It wasn’t a lack of effort, a lack of not preparing or anything like that. Our focus was there. We just got to make sure we are opportunistic around that net and find a way to put it in like the smurfs do.”
-Beat Halak, you mean?
“Look, he played really well. We had some opportunities that we didn't get our sticks on or we got our sticks on and missed the opportunity. He played solid, there's no doubt. But we still had opportunities around the net there.”
-But you couldn’t beat’m, I hear you. Now, they have the momentum going home. It’ll be madness up there.
“You can talk about momentum and things like that, but you have to play the game and earn it on the ice. We faced this exact same situation last series and we responded well, and that is what we will look to do here.”
-You played against maniacal smurfs who forced stifling perimeter play and a goaler who stopped everything in the first round?
“Well.., no.”
-Oh… Well, I’m sure it’ll work out the same anyway. Thanks, Sid.
Yeah, it’ll all work out for them in the end. After all, they are the favourites, right?
More updates as Halak warrants.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

they were eliminated and they are bad they are like little kids and again this year they won't be going anywhere
usually the first couple of weeks they are o.k. but then everything falls apart which should happen soon
Thank god there are a lot of good teams in the nhl