Tuesday, March 25, 2008


MONTREAL - After Monday night's dominating 2-period performance against their arch-rival, the Ottawa Senators, the Montreal Canadiens have clinched a playoff spot with more than 1 game remaining for the first time in [probably] 37 years. As a result, in a stunning reversal of conventional wisdom and policy, GM Bob Gainey announced that, for the duration of the '07-'08 season, failure is now an option.

Gainey spoke to the media in a post-game press conference, "we are proud to revoke failure's non-optional status, effective immediately." Banging his fist on the table, he continued, "Now our players will be able to step back, stare down the hardship and difficulty they will face in the pursuit of success, and say, 'To Hell with that; this isn't worth it.'"

"The players on this roster have always been told that they should succeed at all costs," coach Guy Carbonneau added. "But based on our clinching a plyoff berth, is there really a point in wasting all that energy? I mean, look at our friends in Toronto. Failure seems to be the mantra over there. Why can't we be lazy for once?"

As a result of the new policy, some pundits predict that the majority of Habs players will now opt out of their previous obligation to give it 110 percent.

Although failure was not officially considered an option until today, there have in fact been several cases of it over the course of the season. Micheal Ryder, Saku Koivu and Guillaume Latendress have been massive dissappointments for almost the entire season.

While the ability to openly fail without detrimental consequence has been embraced by the players, some, such Steve Bégin, claim it will have negative long-term effects for the team.

"A few weeks ago, even mentioning that you might willingly give it less than your all would have been unthinkable," Bégin said. "It's a disgrace that we are more inclined to simply not get going, especially when the said going could be classified as 'tough.'"

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