JULIEN'S HEARTBREAKING ACCOUNT OF SORROWFUL DESPAIR

Claude Julien needs to take a page out of Mike Keenan's book. When there's nothing to say, that's what you say. Instead, Julien, either out of pure misery or brilliant tactic, is playing the Pity card. The post-game conference showed a shell-shocked coach whose team had just been steamrolled over by the Powerhouse of the East. As a surviving bomb-victim stumbling around ground-zero with no pants and hair ablaze, so did Julien flounder beneath the Spotlights,
"We're going to go over the video. We're going to watch every play again. Once we're done, I'll tell my guys, "Hey guys, don't do any of that." We were beaten to every play by every guy with every move. They were better at the physicality. We wanted to be strong on their players but they crushed us unto oblivion. We wanted to get the puck in deep in their zone, get a cycle going and guys in front of the net but their goaler stuffed it down our throats, their defense wiped us out and their attackers slapped us in the face before we knew what was going on."
-How do you see your team rebounding from this, coach?
"It's a 7-game series. It's not over. We have to play better. Tonight their team was the better team. They were first on the puck, they scored quick and hard, they beat us up, everything worked for them. They're an excellent team."
-Yeah, but I was asking about your team, coach.
"My team doesn't belong here. We're a joke to Montreal. They're just the greatest team in the history of the world. We have no chance. I...I...I don't know what to do! How do I stop them?! I don't know how to stop them! Does anyone know? They're better than us in every single aspect of the game by a Mexican mile."
-You killed off a 5 on 3 at the end of the game, coach.
"Great. End of the game. 3 minutes left. They're leading 4 to 1. I'm sure they gave it their all to score. Pfffff... Thanks but no thanks."
-Can you take out anything positive from tonight, coach?
"Yeah, we look great in white and yellow; what do you want from me?!"
We love you Claude.
More updates as events warrant.