Tuesday, April 1, 2008


TORONTO - Hockey fans in Toronto and, indeed, across Canada have reported feelings of surprise, amusement, and slight anger after discovering that the Toronto Maple Leafs have announced they have decided to enter a team into next year's NHL season.

"Hey, if our players want to try and go for it one more time, then who am I to stop them?" said MLSE chair, Larry Tanenbaum in a press-conference.

The Maple Leafs have missed the playoffs for the third consecutive year and continue to prove to the hockey world that they are, perhaps, the single worst managed team in the league. Some pundits have equated the MLSE management team to the singular Mike Milbury who single handedly set the New York Islanders back approximately 52 years.

The majority of Canadian media outlets agreed that this was likely going to be the last year in the NHL for the Maple Leafs, opting to quit instead of consistently disappointing their fans.

However, despite the country's reaction, Tanenbaum stood behind his players' decision. "You really have to respect their persistence, going out there like this. It's like they don't care that they're going to lose."

To be safe, Tanenbaum has already booked tee-times for the players for April, 2009.

CBC has already begun work on a 16 hour made-for-TV movie about the courage and wonder that is the Maple Leafs. It is expected to air 104 times during the summer. Don Cherry has already given it his "thumbs up" as perhaps the greatest achievement in TV history.


BoltAction said...

Haha! That was pure gold! Stupid Leafs. Not that my Lightning are any better...

Anonymous said...

They should have relegation like they have in English football. The bottom rung in the standings go down to the AHL and the top team from there come up. That way we could see a real team like the Bulldogs take over for thier sad sack TO neighbours